Snobbery 101

I find as I get older I tend to care less about those 'things' that (I am told) I should care about.  Not that I am a snob or anything..."I do believe I asked for NO pickles on my Whopper...send this slop back immediately!"  I just feel at this point of my life I'm pretty much content...I mean, I've eaten Sushi and I've had Sex (once I did both in the same night....but that's another story) I've lived....why worry about the silly stuff?
Well, try to tell that to your teenage daughter. 

One evening my wife and I were going out to dinner.  This was one of those occasions where it was just the two of us...with real pauses in the conversation, an entree that did not involve cheese fries, and a server that had not arrived in Baton Rouge that morning from the Valley....(Oh my God, I'm like Brittany and I'm so excited that I will be like serving you guys tonight...so sit back and like relax because like I hope you're like hungry hungry hippos!  BANG!  Poor Brittany doesn't get to day 2).  Anyway, I come out dressed in a pair of Khaki pants and a button down shirt.  My daughter sees me....(her words in bold)

What are you wearing?
Well, my Tarzan suit is dirty so I thought I'd wear this.
No Dad....what (pointing to my belt) is that?
It's a belt...glad to see all that money for schooling went to good use.
No Dad (making a face as if to say "you are such a neanderthal how do you walk upright")...why is it black?
(answering somewhat confused) Because it wants to be?
Do you know you're not supposed to wear that with Khaki?
What, not wear a belt?  Seriously, my pants would fall down.
GEEZ DAD...you don't wear a black belt with Khaki pants!
Why the hell not?  What difference does it make?
MOM!  Tell him you don't wear a black belt with....Oh my God....Black shoes!  You're wearing black shoes?
I could go barefoot dammit...leave me alone!
MOM...do you see how he is dressed?  How can you go out in public with him?

*Now...my wife...the love of my life, my best friend, my counsel, my hope, my dreams says, "Yea, I just don't go where I might know anyone"

What the hell is wrong with the both of you?
Dad...brown belt and brown shoes with Khaki.
Why?
DOES IT MATTER?
Yes
GO CHANGE!
I don't own a brown belt or brown shoes.  Black shoes and a black belt are formal attire.
Formal?  For what?  Where are you going?  What kind of place is this?  A TIE is formal, did you just forget about the tie...or is it just formal when it comes to a belt and shoes?
Leave me alone.
Fine...I don't know you.
Really?....That'll work till you need money.

Needless to say for Christmas that year I got.....yup....a pair of brown shoes and a brown belt.
And yes, I wear them....and yes, with Khaki pants...and yes, my daughter still checks to make sure.