Vitamin Packed Day

I am not what you would call a "health nut".  In fact, I'm probably the antithesis of healthy.  I think a 'balance meal' is defined as one that includes both chocolate and vanilla ice cream.  At one point in my younger days (within the last 2 years), a bag of Doritos and a Dr. Pepper was an easy meal.  I figured it was quick, simple, and no dishes to wash....just throw everything away.  This is why my wife and I have lectures (I can't call them arguments because that indicates one of us wins.....and I never do) about eating healthy.

My wife is not "health nut" in the true definition...she is more of a "health fanatic".  Originally from Texas, she wasn't raised on rice and gravy (for breakfast), gumbo and boudin like I was here in Louisiana.  True, she had better BBQ, but I hear tales of things like pasta, grilled salmon, and some alien concoction called "steamed vegetables".  So, because she is very concerned about my health she attempts to have me take vitamins.  Not just the simple 'One-A-Day' brand....there are several I need to take.

FISH OILS
I'm not kidding....for somehow, somewhere a guy has convinced the world taking a tablet with slimy fish oil in it is actually good for your heart.  Really?  Wouldn't chocolate milk contain the same artery clogging material? 

ANTIOXIDANTS

An antioxidant is a molecule capable of inhibiting the oxidation of other molecules. Oxidation is a chemical reaction that transfers electrons from a substance to an oxidizing agent. Oxidation reactions can produce free radicals. In turn, these radicals can start chain reactions that damage cells. Antioxidants terminate these chain reactions by removing free radical intermediates, and inhibit other oxidation reactions. They do this by being oxidized themselves, so antioxidants are often reducing agents such as thiols, ascorbic acid or polyphenols.

What the hell does that mean? 

ST JOHN'S WORT
Really....this is an actual vitamin.  It's for depression.  I'd be depressed if I had to take something called "wort"

GINKGO BILOBA
This is to improve my memory.  I actually took this for a while....of course I washed it down with several glasses of Merlot.  I never noticed any improvement in my memory.

Then there are the "specific vitamin groups" to help with certain maladies:
ProBiotic - Digestive Health
Chondroitin - Joint Health
L-Carnatine - Energy from Fat
Gandolf and Frodo - Lonely Friday Nights

*None of these statements have been verified or proven by the FDA or any governmental agency.  In fact, we deny the existence of vitamins till the industry hires powerful lobbyists with large amounts of spendable cash with which to convince us they are real.  You should consult your personal banker to insure you can afford any healthy lifestyle change.