I have heard it said that 50 is the 'new' 20, or 40 or something other than 50. If that is true, then why is it everyone who ISN'T 50 calls me 'sir' and asks me, " You OK to stand, do you need to sit down"?

I find that as I am now 50 years of age many people (when I say people I am referring primarily to my kids, their friends, and the general public - most of whom I have not met) tend to become......well, stupid. I don't remember doing some of the things (when I was younger) that I see and deal with on a daily basis .

Want an example? I don't remember approaching my dad (with what appeared to be a spark plug wire in my hand) and say "the car won't start. I opened the hood and found this just hanging there so I took it out and now it won't start." I'm not saying I didn't do that, I just don't remember it....but it has happened in my household....twice.

I also find things that I grew up with have 'gone away'. Not that I think life should not change....it should, variety is the spice of life....but sometimes I have to wonder who is coming up with this stuff.

So, I'm writing about these wonderful experiences. Many of them may be familiar to you...maybe you have one to share of your own. Life, however difficult, can be a wonderful laughter filled journey....and laughter is truly the best medicine of all.

So that I don't get angry emails.....I am very happy with my life. I love my wife, appreciate my family and friends...and I love my children very much. But as Bill Cosby once said, "I just hope they leave the house before I die."







Sunday, March 6, 2011

Doctor, Doctor....

When I was growing up, medicine was simple.  It was liquid, tasted terrible and you had to take it 'twice a day at meal time'....unless you gave your mom trouble, then it became necessary to admininster it anally ever 4 hours.  Whatever was wrong with you (stomach ache, runny nose, blurred vision, missing fingers)....Paregoric was what you got.  Two tablespoons full...."and by God don't you dare spit it out!" Then there was Mercurachrome for cuts and scrapes.  Remember that?  I don't think it had any medicinal value....just burned like crazy and made this huge red spot.  Why didn't we just put a lit match on our skin....it would have accomplished the same thing.

Today we can call the doctor and "have something phoned in"....although at times I don't think the guy on the other end of the phone is really listening.  Plus, these days we have a pill or potion for everything...and we've become 'specialized'.  It can be at times mind numbing:

Dr. MuchMoney, my child has this red spot on his/her arm.
Right or left arm?
Right
Top or bottom
Top
Horizontal or Perpendicular to the hand
What?
Does he have a fever?
No
Is he dizzy, coughing, sneezing, dopey, sleepy, or any other of the seven dwarfs?
Seriously?
Has he been out of the country recently?
No
Is he sexually active?
He's 6.  Don't think so.
OK.  It doesn't sound serious. I will call out some lotion for him.
Great
Do you want scented or unscented?
Scented or unscented what?
Lotion.  Also, do you want flavoring?
Is he supposed to eat the lotion?
OK scented, cherry flavored.  What pharmacy do you use?
Uh.....
Doesn't matter.  It's called in at Mujadeheen Pharmacy and Knick Knacks
Where is that?
They will probably not accept your insurance, and there is no generic so be prepared to spend several hundred dollars for a 3 oz tube.  Let me know if this doesn't do the trick
Are you even listening?
I will have my nurse bill your insurance $375 for a 'virtual visit'.

Never mind....I'll just rub some dirt on it.
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