I have heard it said that 50 is the 'new' 20, or 40 or something other than 50. If that is true, then why is it everyone who ISN'T 50 calls me 'sir' and asks me, " You OK to stand, do you need to sit down"?

I find that as I am now 50 years of age many people (when I say people I am referring primarily to my kids, their friends, and the general public - most of whom I have not met) tend to become......well, stupid. I don't remember doing some of the things (when I was younger) that I see and deal with on a daily basis .

Want an example? I don't remember approaching my dad (with what appeared to be a spark plug wire in my hand) and say "the car won't start. I opened the hood and found this just hanging there so I took it out and now it won't start." I'm not saying I didn't do that, I just don't remember it....but it has happened in my household....twice.

I also find things that I grew up with have 'gone away'. Not that I think life should not change....it should, variety is the spice of life....but sometimes I have to wonder who is coming up with this stuff.

So, I'm writing about these wonderful experiences. Many of them may be familiar to you...maybe you have one to share of your own. Life, however difficult, can be a wonderful laughter filled journey....and laughter is truly the best medicine of all.

So that I don't get angry emails.....I am very happy with my life. I love my wife, appreciate my family and friends...and I love my children very much. But as Bill Cosby once said, "I just hope they leave the house before I die."







Tuesday, March 8, 2011

All the news that is news

I grew up with The Today Show on NBC.  Remember that one?  Barbara Walters, Hugh Downs, Bryant Gumbal, Matt Lauer, Katie Couric, Al Roker, Tom Brokaw... also occasional appearances from Willard Scott.  It was a morning tradition...and it's all gone now.  I have, as they have, grown old.  It's a youth filled world and networks want the younger folks to watch....so they make it more 'hip'.  Complete with every possible ethnic representative.

Think I'm crazy?  Think about it.

How did the Today Show start back then?  Remember?  A fly over of New York with a zoom in on 'The Plaza'.  Cool graphics with the host name, upbeat music, and an easy fade in to the studio.  There sat the hosts...looking cool and happy drinking coffee out of mugs proudly emblazoned with the letters NBC.  My world was complete.  That could NEVER happen now.  What you get now is this..

A dark screen.  A tympani of drums slowly building in volume. Suddenly - lightning, thunder, fireworks and flashes.  In the center of the screen the station Logo, some angry rapper starts (and I use this term loosely) 'singing':
It's morning in the USA 
Time to start your damn day
Get your ass out of bed
Be glad you ain't dead
Hope you don't got the blues
It's time to check the news

A series of horrific explosions fades into the set.  It is silver, with gold accents on the wall.  We see five people sitting on a leather sectional:
Male / Sport Coat (no tie) / perfect hair / perfect teeth .....Think 'George Michael'
Female / Tight shirt showing ample cleavage / short skirt showing her legs / Hooker heels
Black Male  / Wearing an orange, red, green and yellow suit
Asian Female / Wearing an outfit that is supposed to look like a Geisha outfit but isn't
Hispanic Male / Wearing a sombrero

We get quick cuts lasting about 3 seconds to each one (with a flash of lightning between each):
I'm Joe Wasp.  The middle east is in turmoil, Europe is in a panic, and my hair is perfect.
I'm Tawny EverFertile.  Iraq is safer, terrorism is on the run, and the top button on my shirt is hanging on by a thread.
I'm ChimalsiDaktari (it means 'proud healer'...really, look it up) the weather is terrible.  More later.
I'm NairishiNaguraTokyo.  Lindsey Lohan is at it again.  Banzai!
I'm EdwardoSanCristobaldelaCasa.  Brett Farve is unretired again, and will share his taco recipe with us during our second hour.

Voice over is the angry rapper again...while the camera pans back and shows the host sipping bottled water, chatting with the hair and makeup attendants:
It's morning
You got your warning
World keeps turning
Sun is burnin
I earned more singing this tripe
Than you've made your entire life

Fly over the studio and back to Joe while LSD inspired colors and shapes are imposed over the shot.

Good Morning.  Here is today's news.

At this point, old guys like me are sitting in our recliners with our coffee, brown socks and slippers smacking the remote desperately trying to find some show being hosted by Hugh Downs.  No matter how you try, you can't make the news more youthful...it's the news, and typically it is bad.  What happens is you just end up making it look like the MTV awards...only shorter and with less shots of Jack Black.

I guess I could always watch the infomercials about the Brazilian Butt Lift.
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