I have heard it said that 50 is the 'new' 20, or 40 or something other than 50. If that is true, then why is it everyone who ISN'T 50 calls me 'sir' and asks me, " You OK to stand, do you need to sit down"?

I find that as I am now 50 years of age many people (when I say people I am referring primarily to my kids, their friends, and the general public - most of whom I have not met) tend to become......well, stupid. I don't remember doing some of the things (when I was younger) that I see and deal with on a daily basis .

Want an example? I don't remember approaching my dad (with what appeared to be a spark plug wire in my hand) and say "the car won't start. I opened the hood and found this just hanging there so I took it out and now it won't start." I'm not saying I didn't do that, I just don't remember it....but it has happened in my household....twice.

I also find things that I grew up with have 'gone away'. Not that I think life should not change....it should, variety is the spice of life....but sometimes I have to wonder who is coming up with this stuff.

So, I'm writing about these wonderful experiences. Many of them may be familiar to you...maybe you have one to share of your own. Life, however difficult, can be a wonderful laughter filled journey....and laughter is truly the best medicine of all.

So that I don't get angry emails.....I am very happy with my life. I love my wife, appreciate my family and friends...and I love my children very much. But as Bill Cosby once said, "I just hope they leave the house before I die."







Friday, March 18, 2011

Chocolate Almonds

I have a very big weakness for chocolate.  If it's really good chocolate....it is worse.  If you have children, work near children, live near children, or have ever seen a child you are probably familiar with a box of heaven called "Worlds Finest Chocolates - Continental Almonds".  I can make entire meals out of these things (and once or twice I have).  As a culinary note, they are exceptionally tasty with a glass of chilled Diet Dr. Pepper.  Anyway....one evening I sat quietly in my chair to write and it just so happened my daughter was in the room.  I set a box down next to me (along with my chilled DDP).  The conversation went something like this:

What is that?
Diet Dr. Pepper....want some?
No Dad....what's in the box?
Almonds...want one?
It's 9:45 at night!
OK...so, you want two?
No Dad...I don't want any....and you don't either.
Why not?
Because it's not healthy....don't eat them....
Give me a break...I could be drinking
No Dad...really?  Chocolate Almonds this late....fatty - you are becoming a statistic.
A what?
A statistic.  Someone who eats poorly, gets fat and dies!
Really?  I'll have you know I have lost weight. 
So, you lose 1 pound and put on 12 with the almonds?  If you become a statistic, who will feed me?
(as I continue to eat them) Well, there will be lots of chocolate almonds around the house.
DAD....stop eating them!  You didn't eat supper....it's not healthy.
I had a late lunch.....
What does a late lunch have to do with not eating supper, and what did you eat?
Taco Bell.
So you ate crap for lunch AND you're eating more crap instead of supper?
(as I continue to eat them) I don't think...
DAD....stop eating them!
I have DIET Dr Pepper.....that's a good thing....it acts as a counter agent against the chocolate (another one bites the dust)
DAD...stop eating them!  Counter - Agent?  What are you a Russian Spy?  You're supposed to be a role model!
(crunch, crunch) Yea, but I don't have to be a good one do I?
DAD...STOP EATING THEM!

This coming from someone who once saw a bag of french fries in my truck and asked "can I have these?"
By the time I could get out the words "no...they're from yesterday"....she had already eaten them.
And I'm the one who is eating unhealthy.
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