Many of you may remember Hurricane Gustav. It came through the Baton Rouge area in 2008 and truly made a mess of things....mostly in and around my yard. Anyway....because I believe in 'roughing it' and didn't want to spend 14 hours trying to drive 8 blocks on the interstate I secured the needed supplies to ride out the storm at home.
Several hours later....the proverbial waste matter hits the oscillating air mover.
I don't mind wind. I do mind wind that makes noise. That's what we were getting. Just like in the movies...only louder. I'm looking out the window at the trees bending and random items being blown across the yard (chairs / balls / the wicked witch of the west) and I'm thinking, "wow, this is getting serious." Of course, realizing the serious nature of the moment I did the only logical thing....I went outside to 'get a better look.' My 17 year old son goes with me. We look outside at the large oak in the front yard and determine many of the lower branches are going to break and possibly go hurling into the neighbors window. This would be bad for community relations. Thinking about my options, I decide I must find a way to minimize the possible impact of broken tree limbs...and I must do this in 60 mph winds and horizontal rain. My son, thinking like a true...what's the word here....don't know, but he says , "I got this Dad".
So, Hurricane Man jumps into action. He runs out into the front yard, CLIMBS THE TREE, and begins to jump on the branch. (think monkey here).
"What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm going to break the branch so it doesn't fly off"
"You idiot (hey, that's the word I couldn't think of earlier) you are STANDING on the branch. You are going to fall with it."
(making a face at me that tells me he wonders why someone with my limited intelligence has been allowed in public) "Dad, really? I'm holding on to this branch above it."
So he jumps and the branch falls....so does he. I stopped laughing long enough to make sure he got up off the ground. My wife opens the door and sees him. After explaining what happened she rolls her eyes and goes back inside...only after 5 minutes does she return and say, "is he alright, because the ambulance won't come out in a storm and he'll have to just lay there". Such caring is beyond words.
So we stand on the porch and notice the mailbox. It's definitely going to be blown off the support. With the wind direction we determined it would go directly into the rear window of my neighbors brand new Camry. Once again, Hurricane Man jumps into action. Out he dashes to the mailbox.
"Just take the mailbox off the post" came instructions from Hurricane Man's trusty sidekick. (standing safely on the front porch)
"It's not coming off"
"Can't be hard son...I know, I nailed it up"
"Not happening...but (he utters his catch phrase) I GOT THIS."
He begins to pull the entire post out of the ground. Of course, it's not coming up either. It's a 6 foot post with at least 2 feet in the ground. Now, the wind is still blowing at 60 mph and the rain is still falling horizontally...but there is Hurricane Man in the street running in circles trying to loosen the mailbox post.... on a few revolutions he loses his grips and falls, he occasionally slips and falls, and once he slammed his hand with the mailbox door. All of this is happening while his trusty sidekick is on the front porch laughing so hard he is choking. (I later found out my neighbors were doing the same thing)
After several minutes, the post is dislodged and Hurricane Man places it on the front porch out of the wind.
Standing in front of me, dripping wet, winded, and making a face he says (in a sarcastic tone) "See....I GOT THIS".
Whatever it is he got...I hope he grows out of it.
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