Good Morning Mr. President

George W. Bush wrote in his book Decision Points that one of the many things he would miss about the White House is waking up in the morning and having someone say, "Good Morning Mr. President, what can I do for you today?"  I wonder if he'd miss a morning like this:

(4:00am) - I feel a small, wet sensation on the bottom of my feet.  Thinking a child has wandered in my bed again and had an accident, I leap out of the bed and throw the covers back.  What I discover is the dog.  Looking at me as if to say "I'm sorry, were you sleeping?  Well, I have to pee so since you're up let's go."  Of course, my wife...ever vigilant....rolls over and mumbles something about "the covers" and returns to snoring.  I have on more than one occasion wanted to respond (just to see if she was awake), "sorry dear, I used them to put the fire out...but it's all good now goodnight." The reason I haven't done that is because if she were awake and responded it would be difficult for me to get back to sleep with an alarm clock shoved in my ass.  Anyway.....to continue with my morning.

(4:11am) - The dog, having finished his business and his patrol of the yard sits at the patio door and begins a series of small, high pitched yelps.  This is his code for "I'm done, let me back in."

(4:20am) - Having been unable to ignore the noise, I get out of bed and let the dog back in.

(4:24am) - Now I have to pee

(4:39am) - The other dog, who sleeps in a kennel because she has the tendency to crap on peoples shoes in the middle of the night....now begins to whine.

(4:56am) - I hear the patio door open and close.  Knowing my wife has not moved, and I am still in bed, I think "I'm glad the dog knows how to open the door".

(4:57am) - Realizing dogs have no opposable thumbs, I get up to see who the opened the damn door.

(5:00am) - After stopping in all the rooms on the way to the den (this is to be sure someone isn't actually robbing me through the patio) and finding everyone, except me, is fast asleep.  I conclude my 8 year old woke up and let the dog out.  My assumption is correct when I check the door and find it locked....but not closed.

(5:15am) - Not satisfied the yard in safe, the dog begins to bark at random air molecules around her.  Just FYI, this dog is a Beagle.  So the bark is more of a deep howl...the kind you'd hear from one of those old dogs you see on Hee Haw.

(5:20am) - Fearing a neighbor will hurl a brick over the fence at my house because of the noise...I get out of bed and make the dog come back inside.

(5:30am) - The alarm on my wife's Blackberry (the one with the steel drums) goes off.  She promptly ignores it, but let's it continue to go off every 45 seconds for the next 15 minutes.

(5:45am) - My alarm goes off....time to get up and start my day.

I wonder if the President would miss that?