Sun block

Please don't send me angry emails or tell me I'm crazy.  I believe in Sunblock.....ESPECIALLY for children.  That's a big step for someone my age....we used to go to the beach and burn ON PURPOSE.  "It'll turn brown", we would say as we peel layers of skin off our legs, "just need more Noxzema."
Noxzema?  Remember that stuff?  Might as well have smeared lard on the burn.

Anyway, while I agree sunblock is important, I also believe we have overdone it a bit.  Here is the official definition of "SPF" - These numbers refer to the product's ability to screen or block out the sun's burning rays. It is a common mistake to assume that the duration of effectiveness of a sunscreen can be calculated simply by multiplying the SPF by the length of time it takes for him or her to suffer a burn without sunscreen, because the amount of sun exposure a person receives is dependent upon more than just the length of time spent in the sun.

So, the 'ability to screen or block out the sun's burning rays' is measured in SPF numbers....but don't take them literally or seriously because they are typically wrong, and you will burn to a crisp like bacon on a skillet....and that would be bad. So rabid moms run to the Coppertone aisle every summer.

"I've got to get protection for Bleemish" one will say "he has such a fair skin tone we make him drink ink in order to see him."  "Little Nostradamus is the same", another chimes in "he burns when he sits under the light on the ceiling."  "Why don't we just get a lot of beer and sit under a tree?" says the only dad on the aisle.  He is attacked by the mob, quickly gutted and left to die right there in front of the baby wipes.

For those who need help, here is a simple SPF rating along with the contents of each bottle:

SPF 0 to 15 (usually a spray, making it easy to get it in your eyes where it will burn like fire for 24 hours)
- You can stay inside, but avoid light bulbs larger than 75 watts.
SPF 15 to 50 (usually a lotion, making it easy to waste because you always get more out than you need and if you put it all on you would look like you have some sort of skin condition)
 - You can go outside; but avoid the sun's rays, reflections of the sun's rays, and any area not shaded.
SPF 50 - 75 (usually some sort of new lotion/spray combination designed by a cretin without kids.  you get 3 sprays and then the nozzle clogs so you end up pouring it on a paper towel and wiping it on your child)
- You never make it outside because the damn sunblock is some sort of alien color (like purple) and it won't dissolve so Randolph looks like some sort of  Barney Zombie)
SPF 75 - 100 (usually a long sleeve T-Shirt and a ski mask)
- You are free to commit armed robbery

I just look for a tree with a place to set the cooler down........