I have heard it said that 50 is the 'new' 20, or 40 or something other than 50. If that is true, then why is it everyone who ISN'T 50 calls me 'sir' and asks me, " You OK to stand, do you need to sit down"?

I find that as I am now 50 years of age many people (when I say people I am referring primarily to my kids, their friends, and the general public - most of whom I have not met) tend to become......well, stupid. I don't remember doing some of the things (when I was younger) that I see and deal with on a daily basis .

Want an example? I don't remember approaching my dad (with what appeared to be a spark plug wire in my hand) and say "the car won't start. I opened the hood and found this just hanging there so I took it out and now it won't start." I'm not saying I didn't do that, I just don't remember it....but it has happened in my household....twice.

I also find things that I grew up with have 'gone away'. Not that I think life should not change....it should, variety is the spice of life....but sometimes I have to wonder who is coming up with this stuff.

So, I'm writing about these wonderful experiences. Many of them may be familiar to you...maybe you have one to share of your own. Life, however difficult, can be a wonderful laughter filled journey....and laughter is truly the best medicine of all.

So that I don't get angry emails.....I am very happy with my life. I love my wife, appreciate my family and friends...and I love my children very much. But as Bill Cosby once said, "I just hope they leave the house before I die."







Thursday, April 21, 2011

The 70's revisited

I have one of those satellite radios.  It's really cool and I enjoy not having to listen to typicall DJ nonsense:

Well, it's morning at KRAP radio and of course Summer Blossom is here with the traffic
Morning Derk, traffic is a mess as always in the city
Yup, wonder if it will ever get better
Don't know how....
Maybe if we didn't have so many drivers who had breasts
Breasts?
Yea...you know what I mean
Nope...never do

Hysterical laughter between them while I consider ripping the radio out the dash.

So anyway....I have satellite.  Now, the really cool thing is I can listen to specific types of music.  Seriously, you name it they got it:  Pop, Country, Gregorian Chants, Random screams from Big Hair Bands of the 80's, and Jazz.  What do I listen to.....the 70's!  What a decade....and I lived through it.

We had uplifting and meaningful songs such as:

Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road
Really...this was a Top 40 tune for several weeks.  I picture this guy in a bar in Alabama singing when some record producer walks in to use the phone because his Porsche had a flat.  While he's teaching the guy at "Cletus' Gas and Guzzle" how to pronounce Porsche...he hears this song.  "Wow", he thinks to himself  "I'd bet I could make money off of that song."

Afternoon Delight (yea...they weren't talking about Happy Hour at Sonic here)
"Gonna find my baby gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight....my motto's always been when it's right it's right why wait until the middle of a cold hard night?"...."We can make a lot of lovin' 'fore the sun goes down."
Need I say more?  I always wondered why Viagra didn't use this as a theme song.

I want to be sedated
"Put me in a wheelchair, put me on a plane.  Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane"
I think this is a good theme song for most parents...especially with kids of high school age.

Mama's got a Squeeze Box
"Mama's got a squeeze box she wears on her chest, and when daddy come's home he never gets no rest.....She goes, squeeze me, come on and squeeze me Come on and tease me like you do.....she goes in and out and in and out and in and out"
Yea...I knew this song was about an Acordian when I first heard it....didn't you?

Anything by David Gates and Bread
I heard a comedian once say that James Taylor could make any song...even Happy Birthday....sound so depressing you would want to kill yourself after listening to it.  Apparently he never listened to anything sung by David Gates.  Don't remember?  Look up the song "Aubrey".... be sure you don't have anything sharp laying around when you do.

Anything by Gladys Knight and the Pips
I watched Johnny Carson one night ask Gladys what a "Pip" actually was.  She didn't miss a beat, pointed to the biggest black guy I had ever seen (who was wearing a purple tux and had an afro stretching 3 ft off his head) and said...."that is a Pip."  Several weeks later they broke up because, the "Pips" no longer wanted to be looked upon as the 'back up guys'.  Considering they were composed of (this is true) her brother and her cousins I think they had a pretty sweet deal.  After the break up the Pips had a memorable appearance on The Richard Pryor Show where they sang the back up parts to Midnight Train to Georgia and Heard it Through the Grapevine.  At the parts where Gladys was supposed to sing, the camera panned a microphone stand with no one there.  So what you got was 3 black guys who would sing, "leavin on a midnight train...whoo hoo" .........then silence with the camera on the empty microphone.  It was classic.

Tie a Yellow Ribbon
Remember this one?  I think the action of tying a yellow ribbon to virtually everthing in your yard (including the dog) became more popular than the song.  Actually, do you remember the group who sang it?  They had many names:
First we were told to say - Dawn
Another hit and we were told to say - Tony Orlando & Dawn
A television appearance or two and we were told to say - Tony Orlando
A string of busts and Tony Orlando was told to say - You want fries with that?

Good Girls Don't
As a teenager, I thought this song was....well, both funny and cool.  As a DAD with a teenager daughter.....I think the Ramones should be jailed.

Anyway....I about to board the Love Train..."people around the world...join hands.....gonna ride this train.....c'mon everybody......love ride, love ride"

It's amazing we were allowed to pro-create.
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